Radiation sucks!

Hope you all had a wonderful Holiday. We really enjoyed our time with our extended families. Unfortunately I wasn't the greatest company Christmas Eve because I was completely fatigued. But I made myself comfy in my favorite chair at my SIL's, and they all treated me like always -- with love and compassion -- which made me feel like more than a bump under a blanket. I headed to bed early, but it didn't seem to slow the festivities. It was wonderful to spend time with all four of the Moundays again; our timing has been a little off lately to allow that.

On Christmas morning, I woke up dizzy. I've had moments of vertigo here and there, but this was pretty steady and very unsettling. Once we got to Shelley's and had lunch, I settled into a comfy corner of their couch with my camera, and the vertigo passed. I was really worried that was going to be my existence for awhile, and that was quite frightening to me. THE KID and our little Missy had such a good day; at 21 months, McKaylen idolizes Cody, and watched -- pointing and giggling -- every move he made.

I've had a bit of a setback. A section of the skin in the 'boost' shot area is breaking down a bit. Imagine a sunburn which has started to peel. Being in the place it is, this section of skin is routinely rubbing against clothing, so it's a constant irritation, and it's rather raw and tender. The tech had Dr. Perez-Tamayo check it out before my treatment, and she checked it out again afterward. I'm assigned another ointment to use with the original anti-itch prescription ointment. For overnight, I get to use this most disgusting gauze that's impregnated with some kind of petrolatum that makes it gooey; but it sticks without tape, and that's a good thing.

The bummer is that I won't be having more radiation this week in an effort to allow this skin to heal. I am to see the doctor before radiation on Monday, and hopefully will receive my final four treatments and be finished next week, pretty close to on schedule. This came as a huge rush of disappointment that rather surprised me. But I took a few minutes to cry like a baby, then got back into the routine of the day.

One thing I have changed is giving up my bra. This makes me very self-conscious -- as it would for any C/D cup girl -- but fortunately (1) it's cold this time of year in Kansas, so (2) I can layer my clothes and (3) I don't think anybody but my doctor noticed. She's tried to get me to do without a bra all along, but I just couldn't bear being without one until I can't bear wearing it. I'm confident my mother will get a big hoot out of this, recalling how adamant she was that I wear my bra in Junior High and High School and how strongly I battled to wear halter tops without one!!! (For my younger readers, this was back in the day when we tried NOT to show our underwear to the world!!!)

I've given myself a break tonight, eaten my favorite comfort foods, slept a lot and wallowed in my disappointment. I'm off to bed shortly, and have determined that tomorrow will be a better day. Fiddle-le-de.